Big Boy's accident

Memorial Day weekend my dad's side of the family was having a family reunion in Western KS at my dad's farm and we decided to go by on our way to vacation in Colorado. I should preface this entire story with a little background, but not too much because it is all very personal.

I have been estranged from my dad for a couple of years now. And I thought long and hard about using the word estranged, because it seemed so harsh and dramatic to me. I looked it up in the dictionary and found the definition.
estrange: to make hostile, unsympathetic, or indifferent; alienate. To remove from an accustomed set of associations. Verb refers to a disruption of a bond of love, friendship, or loyalty. Two persons whose harmonious relationship has been replaced by hostility or indifference.

And yes, that is our relationship in a nutshell. I see my dad occasionally but have not seen his family since all of this began about 5 years ago when my parents divorced after 30 years of marriage. So a family reunion around people I hadn't seen in years and a visit to my father I had to share with them was not something I was looking forward to. Needless to say I was on edge, as I had been for weeks about it, and not feeling so great. So there is a lot of emotion behind this day and this post, just so you are warned...

The afternoon began well. That side of our family have been a part of my life since I was born so I know them all very well and it was nice to see them. We have several four-wheelers at the farm (pictured below) and I spent several hours taking my kids out on it riding around.


After dinner Pat and I were going to take Big Boy out together. Sissy wanted to ride with some of her cousins on the Gator so I walked accross the grass to get her situated while Pat and T got on. I was sitting Sissy down when I heard my sister SCREAM my name, and it was filled with terror. I turned around and saw the four-wheeler several feet from where I had left it and my child wrapped up, feet not touching the ground, in a barbed wire fence.

Things get really blurry here. I obviously ran as fast as I could to him and by that time Pat had reached him. I'm pretty sure I yanked him out of Pat's arms and I could see the blood, which seemed everywhere. His shirt was ripped in several places. I sat down right there on the ground and held him while we both cried. I have never heard T cry like that. I felt like I was having a heart attack, or something worse. I could not breathe. I'm not sure how I sat there before someone had us walk inside the cabin.

When we got inside the cabin we were able to look at T more closely. He looked awful to me. His nose was bleeding and there just seemed to be blood all over his face. As we look back, it was not actually blood all over his face- it did not wash off. It was just the raw, scratched skin. He had several bad barbs- the worst being on his hand and back of his head. The one on his hand was ripped open- you could see the inside of it. I was BEYOND hysterical at this point. I was screaming at everything, I was so mad I had let him ride that vehicle. I was so mad that I wasn't on it with him.

Well two of my aunts are nurses so luckily they were there to look at the wounds. It was agreed that he could probably use some stitches, however they thought that it would be more traumatic for him to get the stitches than for us to watch the cuts and see how it went. After we decided there were no internal injuries or anything life threatening, I got more of the story. I had not even noticed in all the craziness that Pat was pretty badly injured too. While T's wounds were deep and short, Pat had long, deep scratches on his arms and chest. Apparently after they got on the four-wheeler, at the exact second Pat was putting it in gear, T pushed the "gas" button (just an easily reachable button right in front of him) and they jerked forward and went THROUGH the barbed wire fence. And I mean, the wire broke. Pat went one way still on the vehicle and T was completely seperated from him going the other way.

I can only think of one other time when I felt like this- when Sissy was 2 she had a febrile seizure and was taken by ambulance to the hospital. There is literally NO FEELING IN THE WORLD like when your child is hurt. I can't even describe it, but I know a lot of you know the exact feeling I mean. It is a horrific terror that I would imagine is similar to being shot in the leg. Okay, maybe not, but that is how I felt. I was completely numb. Even after I knew he would be okay I still felt a huge depression.

It was not a pleasant evening to follow. We needed to go get the supplies to care for him. Well since we were out in the country we had to drive 45 minutes into a town with an open Wal-Mart. I went in (and this was a site to see- I had my "family reunion" shirt on and it was covered in blood) and bought literally every first aid supply they had. I didn't even have any Motrin on me so I bought EVERYTHING. Well, unfortunately our hotel was another 30 minutes in the opposite direction. My poor tired (and injured) children watched Toy Story in the car as we drove our almost hour and a half for supplies.

When we got back to the hotel my aunts had advised us to bathe him and clean the wounds. Thank goodness T likes showers- we were able to coax him in with Pat. They were in there for a long time and Pat was able to, very softly, clean him up. We were both shocked, like I mentioned before, that no blood was wiping off- his skin was just scratched so bad.

I have a lot of guilt and hurt feelings about that day. I felt like the whole thing was my fault. I felt like I was not understood- like my hysteria was unwarrented. But I don't dwell on that for long. Sure, some of me was a little dramatic. But when it comes to my children I will always give myself a pass. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt. Since we've been home we have actually learned that 2 young people in the Wichita area have died in the last month due to a barbed wire fence injury- one driving a golf cart through it and the other a similar vehicle. The image of my child dangling in that fence will never leave my brain, but we are so lucky. We are so lucky that our child made it through it, without even a trip to the ER. We thank God for protecting our Baby Boy.

The next morning after it happened, I left the Band Aids on, it was so gross:


You can see how red his face was, and if you look close you can see other scratches-he had one right above his eye. You'll notice, too, that it wraps back around his head where one of the worst cuts was.


What a trooper:


This is him 3 days later. I had to really be persuaded to go on to Colorado- I wanted to just come home. But we went on, had a wonderful time, and I loved seeing my Big Boy so happy.

Ahh, it's back

After several weeks, my wonderful husband has restored our computer back to life. When it crashed before vacation I was convinced we would have to get a new computer- ours is over 5 years old! But my husband keeps it perfectly updated, fast, and running smoothly and he brought it back to life this week and it is running just fine. He is still working on putting a lot of stuff back on it- old pics and programs and such, but as long as I can upload photos and use the Internet I am a happy camper!

Some pics and recent events since "the crash"-

We had a nice Father's Day. The kids let us sleep in and then I made some breakfast while the guest of honor mowed the lawn. Fun, huh? During breakfast we decided to hit Toy Story 3 and the kids COULD NOT be happier. We prepped by dressing in Toy Story clothing, collecting Woody and Jessie, and-for Sissy- she insisted on "one braid w/ a bow" like Jessie.






We caught the early show so lunch was, of course, 2 large buckets of popcorn. The movie was great. The kids sat completely still through the whole movie and enjoyed every second of it. I thought it was adorable!




And you can probably imagine what our Halloween costumes are for this year- I will have a little Woody and Jessie! (although I hate characters, so I like to say "cowboy and cowgirl") We have already started planning- we bought cowboy hats in Colorado (banished to the closet until after October!) and we are material hunting for the outfits. Sissy demands that she look exactly like Jessie, I will be lucky if I don't have to dye her hair red.

After the movie the kids went down for naps and I got to go out and run errands- it felt more like Mother's Day, I was getting so much done! I combed Wichita for sale Toy Story toys for Big Boy's upcoming birthday. After naps we headed to my in-laws for dinner. It was a pretty relaxing day.


The weekend before I had an amazing night out with my best friends from high school. It has been years since I'd seen them but it is so neat how nothing really changes. And as you grow older you have even more in common and more to talk about. Several of my girlfriends live in town with their own kids so now we have been able to get our kids together, too! (sorry for the picture overkill, putting a lot on for family who know these girls and for these girls to see)




Back then, graduating from Andover: (we got everybody but 3 in this pic back for our "reunion")












We also had our favorite visitors, my bff Annie and her daughter K, down for a few days. The weather didn't cooperate for the pool like we'd planned but we were able to just relax and chat and let the kids play.


I love baby K and still maintain that she is the happiest, friendliest little one I've ever met in my life. I "worked" on some stuff with her and Annie called me a couple days later to report she was saying "momma" now! Next time I'll work on "Alyssa"...





So those are our moments lately. Sissy is in her second week of Vacation Bible School this week. Nothing better than VBS, it's free and she enjoys her time w/ friends! We've been swimming way too much so we are taking a few days off. The kids' skin is turning dark and their hair is turning white! If any of our friends here in Wichita wants to come swimming with us one day let me know! I had Sissy enrolled in swim lessons the next couple weeks but I back out, we'd rather see our friends!

Hitting the potty training thing with Big Boy HARD. It is so difficult- he is not motivated whatsoever by treats like Sissy was. The worst part is that some days he does perfectly and I swear he is officially potty trained and then the next he has an accident EVERY TIME and I feel back to square one! It makes it really hard to plan. I never know whether he will be using the toilet or peeing his pants 10 times when I wake up in the morning. We are visiting toilets everywhere these days- restaurants, Quik Trips, Target, Bible School! Most of these places have toilets that flush themselves and really loud hand dryers and Big Boy is very into that!

MIA

Sorry readers, been MIA for awhile and will remain away from my computer probably. We had a 10 day vacation, which was a really long time to be gone, and then when we got back one of my bff's (shut up, I know that sounds like I'm 15) from college called and came to stay for a couple days with her little one while her husband worked down here.

Despite all this I would have probably had my 6,000 vacation pictures already up except for the fact that the night before we left our computer crashed. We are trying to recover everything now and then it will be in the shop for awhile. We have an old laptop plugged in that works...sometimes.

So I've been reading my fellow blogs when I can and not commenting, sorry, my computer time is very limited. But maybe it's a good thing- you get to go one more week without seeing my vacation pics! :) And before you hear about- duh duh duh- T's big accident our first day away and while I'm the worst parent ever. Here's a tip- do not let your 2 year olds drive four-wheelers. How's that for a teaser??

"Baby"

Nothing in this world can make me as happy or make me laugh as much as Big Boy and Sissy. No amount of stress can withstand their little grinning faces.

I have been stressed lately. Lots of things going on, none of which I want to get into on a blog post, but by evening time I have lost a lot, if not all, of my cheeriness for the day. And with hubby at work last night and a 10 day vacation looming in the next few days, I was forced to run errands last night with Wild Thing 1 and 2. Were they any wilder last night than any other? No. Did they do anything particularly bad? No. But I wasn't in the mood for it.

Car ride to Dillons- "Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama." Yes?!?!?!?!?!?! "aljekjtkghauytioengkal" (or whatever language Big Boy speaks) On, and on, and on he went. "Just be quiet and stop talking to me!" Yep, the words came out of my mouth.

Wal-mart- Noticed how Toy Story has invaded every aisle and nearly every product made right now? Well my two year old is obsessed with it and he happens to have a very loud voice and my head last night was just not having the noise. And EVERY aisle we walked down "TOY STORY. TOY STORY. TOY STORY BREAD. TOY STORY CEREAL. TOY STORY POTTY. TOY STORY BACKPACK. TOY STORY..."

Without elaborating on some of the words I used last night, it was a little rough. Although, one large root beer float later, I started to feel very guilty. I tried to relax a while and Big Boy came in to keep me company. He had props, and I grabbed my camera.
SUPERMAN!


Leaping off of the couch...and I didn't even care!






Sissy wanted to be included so I snapped all 3 of us. I loved this pic immediately because my handsome little superhero from above looks like such a BABYface.



Sissy had not napped, so she headed to bed. It was now about 9:00 and I was ready to relax with some NJ Housewives. I turned to Big Boy and said "It's time for bed buddy!" To which he replied "No bed. I unna cuddle my mommy." No other words were needed. He laid down with me and- I'm not kidding you- watched almost an hour of television laying in my arms, barely moving.



I woke up this morning and my first thought was not about what all is going on right now but rather of my BABY. Within minutes of waking up he already had me reaching for my camera. He is 32 months old and wearing a 12 month onesie, a conductor's hat, and carrying around his posse.


My BABY will be 3 soon. He is a fast talker with lots to say but is pretty slow in the speech development department. He takes huge breathes every couple of words so it breaks his sentences up. Some he says often...
"I like it...dot dogs. Cancakes. Copcicles."
"Mama, I no Big Boy. I Buzz. To finity and yond!" (I often have to call him by another name, he loves to pretend he is any Toy Story character or super hero)
"Mama, I love you. I no in trouble. I sorry."
"Mama, Sissy did it. Step on poley." (meaning-he did it, stepping on defenseless bugs)
"Mama, cuddle me."
"Mama, get it!" (always in the car while I'm driving)
"Mama, kiss. Hug. Squeeze."
"Mama, I want it...doo doo head" (Doo Doo Head is what he calls Mr. Potato Head from Toy Story- he doesn't have one and is dying for one)
Notice how every sentence starts with Mama?

All seemingly easy phrases, but it's taken him a little time to master the way he puts words together. And it is a trait in him that I really appreciate because it reminds me every day how little he is, no matter how big boy he acts, and how interesting he is to listen to connect with. My darling BABY.



And Sissy...xoxo
'

And after proofreading this post I realize in some of your sick minds you may be thinking that I am trying to give a clue or allude to more babies. Well, you are WRONG! :) The only BABIES in my life are the kiddos pictured above! ;)